Gay Marriage 2

It might be suggested that the state has other reasons to promote marriage rather than just that of helping children flourish and I was wrong to concentrate on this sole reason in previous postings when I argued against gay marriage. It might be further suggested what gay couples want equality with heterosexual couples. However equality must be justified equality, for instance children don’t have equality with adults when it comes to voting. Nonetheless it seems reasonable to suggest what gay couples want is equal access to the benefits of marriage.

What then are the benefits of marriage? Firstly married couples offer each other mutual support. Secondly traditional marriage is meant to guarantee sexual exclusiveness. This exclusiveness is often more of an expectation than guarantee is practice. Thirdly marriage gives the partners in the marriage certain property rights and guarantees these rights after the death of one of the partners. Lastly a marriage helps in the rearing of children. It would appear there are four main reasons why people marry. As I have previously suggested only the last reason is a good reason why the state should support traditional marriage, it might appear my objector is justified in claiming my basis for the state supporting traditional marriage is at the best highly selective and at the worst prejudiced towards gay couples.

At this point I must make clear my previous position. I argued the state should recognise traditional marriage only because it helps children to flourish. I did not argue the state should recognise traditional marriage because of the additional benefits outlined above. Someone might raise two objections to the above. Firstly she might suggest that state should recognise traditional marriage because of these additional benefits. Secondly she might point out even if the purpose of the state in recognising traditional marriage is only to help children to flourish that a consequence of this recognition is that these benefits become available to married couples. She might then proceed to argue if the state prohibits gay couples from marrying these benefits are made unavailable to gay couples and as a result is guilty of unfair discrimination.

In response to my objector I would suggest the first two benefits of marriage as outlined above are questionable. Firstly is the mutual support a couple offers each other really enhanced because they are married? I would argue the best form of mutual support depends on love. Not however some form of sentimental love in which the lover’s interests continue to take precedence over those of her beloved. Mutual support requires someone taking the interests of her partner as her own. The form of love I’m concerned with as always in this blog is ‘caring about’. Frankfurt defines this form of love as follows,

“It is in the nature of a lover’s concern that he is invested in his beloved. That is, he is benefited when his beloved flourishes; and he suffers when it is harmed. Another way of putting it is that the lover identifies himself with what he loves. This consists of accepting the interests of his beloved as his own.” (1)

In addition I would agree with Frankfurt such love is not something we choose (2). We cannot simply choose to love someone. It follows if a couple simply choose to get married this does not automatically give them the best form of mutual support. It may of course in time lead to such support. It further follows if a couple choose to get married because they love each other they do not obtain the benefits of the best form of mutual support because they marry, they already possess this form. At this point my objector might point out there are less than ideal forms of mutual support. Forms based on self-interest. For instance in a traditional marriage a wife may support her husband in his job because it is in her interests to do so, his job supports her also. And a husband may support his wife’s staying at home looking after their children as it’s in his interests, she’s supporting his children. In response I would point out such mutual support depends on self-interest irrespective of whether the couple are married or not. In the light of the above it would appear mutual support depends on love or self-interest and that mutual support is not enhanced by marriage. I am also doubtful as to whether sexual exclusivity is a benefit of marriage. Perhaps marriage enhances sexual exclusivity but the divorce courts show it certainly doesn’t guarantee it. I will not pursue this point further.

The third benefit marriage is supposed to give its partners are certain property rights and guarantees of these rights after the death of one of the partners. These are real benefits and if gay couples are denied these benefits they are discriminated against. However in the UK and many other countries all these rights are made available by civil partnerships because the financial provisions in these mirror those in marriage. It follows the state if it prohibits gay marriage it does not deny gay couples any property rights or the guarantee of these rights after the death of one of the partners

I accept that married couples offer each other mutual support. But I have argued this mutual support is due to love or self-interest. It is not due to the fact they are married and as a result mutual support is not a benefit of marriage. I am also highly doubtful as to whether sexual exclusivity is a benefit of marriage. Marriage does give married couples some financial benefits but these benefits are available to gay couples through civil unions in countries in which these unions are available. It follows if the state prohibits gay marriage then in countries which permit civil unions the state does not deny gay couples equal access to the benefits of marriage by this prohibition. In my previous posting I argued that provided gay marriage does not harm children the state has no reason to prohibit gay marriage. In this posting I have examined whether, based on the first three benefits of marriage outlined above, the state has reasons to promote gay marriage. I have questioned whether these benefits in fact exist. It follows the state has no reasons to promote marriage based on the interests of married couples, gay or heterosexual.

I have argued that the only reason the state has to support marriage is the welfare of children. I have suggested that because the roles of husband and wife are now interchangeable the state has no reason to prohibit gay marriage, provided of course this does not harm children’s welfare. In some countries it is now possible for gay couples to adopt children, see list. It is also possible for a gay couple to have a child, by means of donor insemination or surrogacy involving IVF, which is genetically related to one of the partners. It follows if the state has reason to encourage traditional marriage because this helps children flourish it also has reason to support gay marriage. This reason can still be justified even if only a small number of gay couples wish to have children. At this point my objector might point out even if the roles of husband and wife are interchangeable the roles of mother and father are not, see for instance Virginia Ironsides. She might then suggest that because of this the children of gay couples do not flourish as well as those of heterosexual couples and as a result the state should not recognise gay marriage if this encourages gay couples to have children.

Basically my objector is arguing that because the children of gay couples do not flourish as well as the children of heterosexual couples that gay couples should not have children. She might suggest this is because gay relationships are unnatural relationships not suited to the rearing of children or the children of gay couples might be bullied at school. In response I would point out there it appears there is no evidence that the children of gay couples do not flourish as well as those of heterosexual couples. Indeed there is some evidence that when they are young they flourish just as well as the children of heterosexual couples and perhaps even better, see Goldberg and Smith. Moreover even if the children of gay couples do not flourish as well as those of heterosexual couples this does not imply gay couples should not have children. Children in deprived areas may well not flourish as well children born into more affluent areas but no one seriously suggests that people in deprived areas should not have children. It seems inevitable to me that some gay couples will have children. Let us assume that the children of both heterosexual and gay couples who stay together flourish better than the children of couples who split up. Let us also assume marriage helps couples who stay together. Lastly let us assume the state has a duty to help children flourish. It follows from the above the state should promote gay marriage even if the number of gay couples with children is low. I accept the above conclusion and as a result have changed my mind about the desirability of gay marriage.

1. Harry Frankfurt, 2006,Taking Ourselves Seriously, Stanford University Press, page 41.
2. Frankfurt, 1999, Necessity, Volition, and Love, Cambridge University Press. Page 135.